To the Perfectionist...

"At its root, perfectionism isn't really about a deep love of being meticulous. It's about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success." - Michael Law

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If you are at all like me, you feel a constant desire to be excellent, but sometimes that desire becomes overwhelming. As time passes, you find yourself with an exorbitant need to surpass excellence and reach for perfection. Next thing you know, you struggle to find the perfect solution to every problem and to always do the right thing. You try to perfect yourself before committing to anything and feel utterly exposed if someone finds a flaw. Finally, you realize your excessive drive for excellence has long been overshadowed by a drive for perfection. I never realized I had become a perfectionist until someone stopped and said it blankly to my face. I have heard people call it by many different names - over achieving, meticulous, or "doing it right." For some reason, the idea of calling perfectionism by a another name keeps us from feeling guilty for committing it. Perfectionism hides itself in my different crevices - appearance, school, work, relationships, motherhood, and home making - but no matter how it surfaces, we are afraid to point it out. We don't want to admit that something has more control over our lives than we do.

Perfectionism is a cruel master. No matter how hard you try, perfectionism is never satisfied, and it continues to ask for more. You become easily enslaved to its ever-changing laws and expectations. It's a constant whiplash across your back leaving wounds and scares to remind you of your imperfections. Every day, it tells you that you'll never be good enough.
Perfectionism is driven by fear, not excellence. The perfectionist is afraid to fail, to succeed, to be vulnerable, to be real; the list goes on. I think the worst part is that it holds you back from achieving all you're called to do. Perfectionism keeps you chained to the idea that you can attain the impossible. Instead of living in the freedom of being you, you keep beating yourself to try and be something you can never become.

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I think it's important to point out that perfection, at least in this world, doesn't actually exist. Every time we strive to be perfect, we fail. It's an impossible task. In a strange way, trying to be perfect is really just another  way of punishing ourselves. In some cases, I think people enjoying being perfectionists. By being a perfectionist, you are able to admit your shortcomings and point out your flaws before anyone else does. It secludes you from the truth others have to offer and protects you from feeling you are a failure to others. You always disappoint yourself before anyone else can feel disappointed. For some reason, we believe it would be better to scold ourselves then to hear loving correction from a friend or family member.

As often as you hide from correction, you also seclude yourself from receiving encouragement.

I often let my struggle for perfection keep me from accomplishing anything. It could be that I don't want to turn in an assignment, make a recipe, volunteer at my church, or encourage a friend. Even now, as I'm writing this blog, I'm wondering if I'm communicating well, using proper grammar, or if I should even post this. Instead of trying to do something, I end up doing nothing. Don't let perfectionism keep you from achieving that which you love and were created to do. I've learned, often the hard way, that it's better to run the race than not start at all. Which is better, to finish the race in fifth place or to never cross the starting line? If you do run the race, don't make perfection the motivation. If perfection is the goal of running, it will steal away the joy of finishing. As long as you give it your best, it doesn't matter if you finish in first place. You can't wait to become perfect. If you do, you will never go anywhere.

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Stop believing the lies perfectionism tells you.

I know the lies are hard to ignore. You constantly hear you're not good enough, you won't amount to anything, you'll never accomplish your dreams, no one will like you, and no one will ever appreciate your work. If you believe the lies perfectionism tells you, you will become its slave. The only person expecting you to be perfect is you. Don't serve your perfectionist ideals. No one is perfect. We aren't a production line of unblemished people who can be recalled and returned because of a flaw. We are all created to be different. We are all unique individuals because of our strengths and our mistakes. Don't let the pursuit of perfectionism destroy who you are and what you were created for. If you do, you rob us all from enjoying the unique individual that you are.

Everyone can try to be perfect, but you are the only one who can be you.

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities  For when I am weak, then I am strong."

- II Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV)

To the Dreamer...

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney

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Have you ever had a dream? I know that I have, and I still do. I'm not just talking about random inspirational fantasies. As a child, I had a lot of those. One day I wanted to be a famous tap dancer, and the next I wanted to be a scientist. If you look back through your childhood, I'm sure that you can find a time that you wanted to be a ballerina, an astronaut, or a race car driver. But I'm not talking about those dreams.

I'm talking about the dreams that bring life to a calling deep inside of you.

Dreams that grip your heart and dig talons so deep that to remove them would leave scars disfiguring you forever. Maybe your dream is to start a bakery. Maybe you dream of being a recording artist, a lawyer, or a school teacher. It could be you dream of being a mother or finally achieving world peace. I dream of a family, training leaders, and restoring cities.

The past several weeks I've been thinking a lot about dreams. Dreams are a vital part of life that feed the soul and fuel your passions. Dreams don't just give you something to wish for, they give you a purpose. In a way, they define you. I wouldn't say they are your identity, but dreams do say something about who you are. They have a unique way of telling people what you stand for. More importantly, dreams remind yourself what you were made for; they bring your calling to the surface.

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As wonderful as dreams are, dreams are tough. They are alluringly described in so many picturesque movies and poetic songs, but none of those stories seem to capture the difficulties of a dream. It's important to remember that there is always someone or something out there ready to drive your dream to ruin. Dreams don't just happen. They take patience, hard work, courage, tenacity, and faith. You have to fight for your dream. Because hard times come, people often forget their dreams and lose sight of who they are. Those without dreams become wandering and aimless souls who search for a place to call home.

No matter what happens, don't give up. If you do, the consequences of quitting are much more severe than the struggles of continuing.

The trials you face will not be easy, but you can conquer them. As long as you press on, you will have the passion and purpose of your dream to give you strength to push forward. Eventually, you will see your dream rise like the sun over the horizon, and it will all be worth it. The moment you give up, you sentence yourself to wander meaningless in the dark. Confusion and loneliness become your only allies.  

The trials you experience are growth for the dream you are hoping for. Preparation can be painful, and it usually isn't very fun, but it's necessary to succeed. Just like an athlete trains for a race, this is your training. A runner can't compete in a marathon without going through the pain of preparing first. Without the training and growth, you will never reach the starting line. Embrace your struggles as best you can because those struggles will give you the endurance you need to finish the race.

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Once you cross that starting line, don't be discouraged if your dream doesn't happen exactly the way you imagined. Over time, things evolve and situations change. The exact details of your dream may unfold differently than you originally planned, but that doesn't mean your dream has changed. Despite all the specifics, the skeleton of your dream is still the same. Enjoy your dream for the beautiful masterpiece that it has become. 

My last word to you is this; No matter what anyone says, your dream makes a difference. Your actions and achievements have an influence on the world and people around you whether it be for better or for worse.

It is up to you to decide what kind of difference your dream will make.

"Therefore we do not lost heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

- II Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV)

Change is Radical

Radical: thoroughgoing or extreme, especially as regards change from accepted or traditional forms 

Have you ever wanted to do something radical? I mean really radical? You know... those things that seem to freak people out just a little bit. Those ideas that make people look at you with questioning eyes because they are trying to figure out if you are being sarcastic or if you should be institutionalized. No one ever seems to respond well to radical ideas. They are the thoughts that always seem to be just outside of people's understanding and acceptance.

The world is full of normal people doing normal things, living what is considered a "normal" life. Let me tell you, history wasn't made by normal people. The authors of history were those people who had a radical idea and decided to do something about it. For example, let's look at the existence of the United States of America. The world may not even know that this humongous piece of land existed if it hadn't been for one man, Christopher Columbus. Yes, the Native Americans were here first, and yes, Columbus did miss North America when he first landed. However, because Columbus dared to believe the radical idea that the world was round, he went out on a search for a new path to India. As a result of his crazy hypothesis, he put North and South America on the map and opened up the possibility for the United States of America to exist as it is today. History would not have remembered Christopher Columbus if he had believed the world was flat. History would not have remembered him if he was "normal."

"Crazy people change things."

There are some traditions that exist that I don't think should be broken. Traditions became traditions and continue to exist as traditions because they are worth being traditions. They have real validity. At the same time, there are some "traditions" that only exist because they are either comforts or habits. Those are hard to break because we are creatures of habit, and we enjoy our comforts. Radical ideas require change, and a lot of people, including myself, don't usually like change. Change is hard.

I want to do something radical, no matter how hard it is. I don't know exactly what it's going to look like , but I'm going to do it. Most of my life has been spent collecting a vast number of inquiring looks. My bank of odd stares is probably much bigger than my bank of hard earned cash. If it was as easy to earn money as it was to earn suspicious glances, I would be rich. Either way, I want to do something that will change history. I want to be history's next author. It's a lot harder to change the world than it is to go along with it. Radical ideas don't make themselves. They take work, dedication, and probably a lot of rejection, but it's worth it in the end. What will people say about me when I die? How will people remember me? I want to do something to bring hope and a brighter future for millions of people. Affecting change requires being changed. If I want do something radical, it means that I have to be radical first. It's impossible to expect someone to believe my radical idea if I don't live it out. The crazy thoughts in my mind are still nothing but a dense fog; they lack clarity and resolution. What I do know is that as I continue to walk forward, without fear or hesitation, I will see my radical ideas come into focus. I will find them and accomplish them. Then, maybe, just maybe, your kids will read my name in history class. 

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

- Gandhi