Lessons from Year One

Well, hello world. It seems like forever since I've written anything. Even though I love writing, life always seems to run away with me. Fortunately, a wonderful life event has brought me back to my computer to share a momentous occasion with you.

Monday, May 20, my husband and I celebrated our first anniversary! Aaron, being the amazing man that he is, planned a whole weekend of first anniversary festivities. Now, don't think we went and spent ourselves into a frenzy. My husband and I live on a very slim budget. I'm talking about the Weight Watchers, counting every penny like a calorie, kind of budget. I believe this past weekend God blessed us through various family connections, local promotions, and unexpected gifts. We spent the weekend in a little cabin right on Lake Huron. It was the perfect rustic getaway. We were able to enjoy the beach, boat on the water, and explore the town. On the actual day of our anniversary, we stayed in a gorgeous hotel in Detroit. That was absolutely fabulous, because I love being pampered. I am a woman after all. On top of all that, my husband spoiled me with lots of coffee and the beautiful gift of not cooking - all weekend long. It was incredible. I am so grateful for the beautiful memories that we made and all the people God used to make it happen.

It's crazy to think that an entire year has already past. A year ago, it felt as if time was moving in slow motion as I awaited my wedding day. This year, time has passed me by in a whirlwind. The past twelve months have been filled with up's, down's, in's, out's, and lots of turn-around's. In sentimental moments, like our anniversary, I have a tendency to become exceedingly nostalgic. Plus, I like to look back at seasons in my life to process what happened and learn from the past. As I sat discussing the previous year with Aaron, he helped me uncover a lot of lessons I've learned. I am here to share some of the most important ones with you.

LESSON 1: This is just the beginning, and the best is yet to come.
We live in a culture steeped with the idea that the wedding day is the ultimate goal. Disney princess movies all lead up to the happily-ever-after ending that comes with finding Prince Charming. Shows, like The Bachelor, are centralized around the idea that we reach the pinnacle of our lives once we find love. To top it off, we idolize celebrity weddings on Bravo, and plan every detail of our weddings on Pinterest. I'm not trying to say these things are bad; I have thoroughly enjoyed several of them. What I am saying is that they all preach the same message - the wedding day is the final goal. How many chick-flicks have you watched about romance after the wedding? It's easy to let our desire to put on that white dress morph into our primary objective. Before my wedding, part of me had come to believe this cultural norm. Last year, my mom wrote in a card, "the best really is yet to come," and those words opened my eyes. What I've learned this year is that there is so much more after the wedding day. All this hype that our culture teaches shouldn't be about a wedding, it should be about a marriage. The wedding day is just the beginning. It's a celebration of the new life you are committing to with one person. Once the celebration is over, it is the marriage that continues. It's the marriage that lives on and shapes the rest of your journey. There is so much more beyond the wedding day, and I am excited to discover all that includes with my husband. A year ago, I didn't reach the pinnacle of my life; I started out on a new journey with a man I am committed to until death. This new life is just the beginning, and I can't wait to see what's ahead.

LESSON 2: Prayers are more powerful than words.
Sometimes Aaron needs to hear truth, whether it is in the form of encouragement or confrontation. Being the person closest to him, I often witness when we needs that truth. However, I made the mistake in thinking he needed to hear my words. He never needed my words; he needed God's words. Now, there have been times God has spoken His truth through me, but it hasn't always happened that way. On several occasions, I thought my words of truth were so powerful and that, if he heard them, everything would be better. What I quickly learned is that my words are nothing unless they are directed by God. It is only my pride that thinks my words are so powerful. More often than not, Aaron needs my prayers more than my words, and any words I want to speak, should first be brought to God in prayer. Prayer affects change. Without fail, every time I have gotten down on my knees to pray for Aaron, I have seen change take place because God is at work. Transformation is not it my hands, it's in God's hands. God uses a variety of avenues to speak truth to Aaron. I am honored and humbled whenever He chooses to use me. God has called me to pray for my husband, but it is always He who answers.

LESSON 3: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
I think that no matter what age, season, or place you are in, you will always encounter hard times. Being in our first year of marriage, Aaron and I have come across a lot of life events that we've never experienced before, and not all of those have been pretty. As the common saying goes, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." This quote is commonly used, but, this year, I learned a new aspect of this truth. Making lemonade out of lemons isn't just about what you do, but it's about your heart. There were several times that my husband tried to "make lemonade." I would grudgingly go along with the idea because it seemed like the best option. What I didn't realize was that just because I was making lemonade outwardly, did not mean I was making lemonade inwardly. I would let my emotions overwhelm me and control my perspective on the situation. As a result, every batch of lemonade was mixed with the bitter taste of anger, disappointment, or frustration. All I did was add salt instead of sugar to create a bitter drink deceptively disguised as lemonade. When I let my emotions take control, I miss out on opportunities to enjoy life and taint new memories with negativity. Instead of letting my emotions control me, I need to control my emotions. That way, Aaron and I can look back on those hard times and not only remember the memories we made, but how we overcame the obstacles. All that to say, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade," but don't forget to add the sugar.